Have you ever wondered if God is actually real? Of course you have. You feel the pain that life brings you and you wonder "if God really loved me, why is he doing this? Why is he allowing all of this?" It's something we all face at some point in our lives. What would happen if we actually saw God, though?
I am sick of this, Ty!" I yelled at the bottom of the staircase to my husband who was packing his suitcase and going on yet another "business trip". "You keep running away from it all. We have to talk about this. Please!"
"Don't you turn your back on me!" He yelled as I opened the front door and tried to make my way to leave. God, his voice! I hate it. "You're not going anywhere, Monica. Get your ass back in this house!"
I turned around and threw daggers at him with my eyes. "There is nothing stopping me from not walking out of here and not regretting it at all." I yelled back at him. I don't even remember why we started fighting in the first place. All I know is he is pissing me off!
"You do this all the time, dammit! You threaten to leave but you never go." He threw his hands in the air and took a couple of steps closer to me. "So stop it. It's really fucking annoying. You wanna go? The go! Get out of here and stop acting like a little bitch about it."
"Fine!" I turned back to the open door and started to walk right out of this hell-hole.
"Pappy! Pappy!" Abby, only seven years young, cried aloud and sat upright in the creaky old bed her mummy use to sleep in when she was just a girl.
The bedroom door swung open a minute a later and her great grandfather, whom she called Pappy, rushed over to her side. His white hair was thinning on the top of his head, his deep green eyes were set more deeply into his face and the wrinkles started to from. Especially around his mouth which he insisted were just laugh lines put there by her mother's clumsiness as a child. "What is it, child?" He sat down on the bed and smoothed back her long auburn hair with his large callused hands.
She laid back down and clutch my blanket tighter to her chest. "I had a nightmare."
"What was this one about?" Pappy was the only person who listened to Abby's crazy dreams. Everyone else, including her mummy and daddy, told her to grow up and stop acting like a child. But she can't help it, can she? Some of the dreams are wonderful and full of magic. However, others are dreadfully scary. Full of war, hate, death, and blood. So much pain.
"I was drowning. I fell into a lake which only sucked me deeper and deeper. I couldn't breathe, Pappy. Oh, Pappy, I was so scared!" She sat upright again and threw her arms around his neck. She held him as tight as her thin arms could.
He patted her back pat reassuringly. "Now now. Let's not have any of that. No tears, my dear." He took her by the shoulders gently and looked her lovingly in the eye. "Would it help if I told you a story?" She nodded and he grinned wildly. He tucked her back into bed and sat down next to her. "Okay, let's see. Ah! I shall tell you about the key."
They stand in front of each other outside of the two story home with white siding and black shutters. They stand on the sidewalk covered in freshly cut grass. After years of separation, they are together again. Not a word being said, just eyes scanning across their bodies. Taking it all in. Looking at the older and younger versions of themselves. Painful memories rise to the surface for both of them. Emotions of all sorts bubble up inside.
The daughter's bottom lip quivers and she clenches her fist so tight that her knuckles turn white. Images of yelling and screaming flash back into her mind. Tears threaten to escape her tear ducts so she wipes them away quickly with her right hand all the while her left hand remains in a tight fist.
"It's going to be okay, Sunshine. I'm here. I love you."
His scream was horrific! Sarah was hunched over behind a tree with covering her ears with her arms. I had to get him to stop screaming or else someone would find us for sure. The thing about Aaron is, he is strong. He can take so much pain and so much hurt. I wanted to cry because I hated seeing him in this much pain. However, I wanted him to go unconscious again right now but he wouldn't. I quickly shoved a stick in between his teeth and his piercing screams turned into a gritted low moan. "Ssshh! Darling, you have to be quiet. I'm almost done." I firmly held the hot metal to the wound on his leg for a little while longer. When I finally stopped, his entire body relaxed and so did mine. I was able to clean the wound, take care of the infection, and bring down his fever with some medicine I had in one of the first aide kits that I had brought. Just in case. "Sarah, come here please." I stayed by Aaron's side and stroked his arm gently. Without taking me eyes off of him, I told Sarah to get me a piece of clothing out of my duffle bag. I then tied a white t-shirt of his around his leg tightly and he let out a short but loud scream. "It's okay!" I quickly said and ran my fingers through his hair. "You're going to be fine now." I kissed his lips softly to reassure him but to my surprise he kissed me back and with so much passion I forgot where we were. I forgot about everything. I focused all of my attention on his lips and to what kind of feelings they were putting into my heart.