This is the story about a boy and a girl. Both very young but still somehow old enough to have gown through a lot of growing pains. What's that you ask? Is this another love story? Well, that is a fair question, I suppose.
This boy and this girl are in love with each other, yes. Oh, and what an adorable story it was on how they became a couple. They have already talked about marriage and kids and they make each other very happy.
However, my dear, this is no love story that I am telling you. No, I'm afraid this story is sad and frightful.
I couldn't help but overhear one night a phone call that took place between this couple. The girl, Danielle, must have had the phone on speaker because I could hear everything she said and everything the boy, Jimmy, was saying as well. They were both clearly distraught however Jimmy was doing most of the talking. Now, believe me, I did try my best not to listen. I heard bits and pieces. Apparently, Jimmy was very upset regarding work, school, and money. He did not like that he did not know where his life was going. He was very distressed that other people his age had things falling perfectly into place for them while Jimmy's life was filled with endless what ifs. Danielle tried her best to tell him that God spoke to her and told her that everything would be alright but Jimmy was not convinced. She tried to console him but it didn't appear to be working. Anyway, I heard something mighty disturbing so I felt I had to listen further.
"No one understands!" Jimmy's voice echoed through the speaker. "The way my life is going now is driving me crazy. I could easily say that I hate my life and just want to die."
"Jimmy!" Danielle groaned and hoped that he wasn't being serious.
"I do! I want to die. I wouldn't kill myself because that is stupid but I just don't care anymore about anything or any person. I want to die."
Tears were pouring down Danielle's face at this point. "Okay, Jimmy. Just forget about all of the people in your life that love you, care about, try to make you happy, and only want the best for you. Forget about the person who wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Forget about all of them and you can go die. That's just fine." I could hear her heart breaking. It echoed around me. It's like her soul or something was screaming. She felt worthless. She loved this man with everything she was and all he wanted to was...die?
"Okay, okay. Hearing it like that, it is clearly wrong." At least he understood that. "I didn't think of it like that but hearing you say all of that...saying I just want to die is selfish. Okay, look I don't want to die. I take it back."
"No you don't." Danielle wasn't convinced. Neither was I, to be honest. She had reason to not believe that he didn't mean what he said because mentioned a couple times later that he might pray to die later.
Danielle let Jimmy just talk. Talk about everything he was thinking and feeling he determined that right now he is depressed. Danielle told him that it was only temporary and that all would be well. She also told him that even if the depression gets worse, she would still be there. She would stick with him to make sure he wouldn't be struggling alone. However, Jimmy really didn't address that at all. I can imagine how that must hurt Danielle. She just wants to make Jimmy feel happy and loved but each attempt gets shoot down or unnoticed. I hope Danielle can see that isn't Jimmy's fault though. He is depressed so he is not his usual self. A lot of what he says or does in this time period he will not mean and it will be unlike him. Some of it but be crazy or rude but she just needs to remember to pray for him constantly.
Danielle asked Jimmy if he wanted to do a video chat with her but he said no. He was tired and he just wanted to be left alone for a bit and go to bed. They said their good nights, he promised to text her in the morning, and then they hung up. I couldn't help but notice that Jimmy hung up without saying that he loved her like he usually would.
What broke my heart was the cries I heard as soon as the call was disconnected. It sounded like a cry from someone whose heart was broken beyond compare. Her screams were muffled, perhaps by a pillow. Then I heard her praying. "Why God, why?! Why can't you just show him that everything will be okay? Why can't you just give him a sense of peace like you give to me?" Her sobs broke through her words for a while. It's like I could see the mascara running down her freckled cheeks in my mind. "I just want to help him! I want to be the one who can make it all better for him but I can't! God, he's weal right now! I don't know what he will do." I heard a thud at this point. Perhaps she fell to the floor or threw something. I can't be sure. "I don't know that he will do." Now her words were whispered so I strained to hear. "He might get drunk. He might go to his ex that he sees every day at work. he might go to her for comfort and then he will fall for her again. He might try to kill himself. He might lash out at his friends and family. He might leave me. I don't want to lose him, Lord. But I want him to be happy. I want him to be okay. I thought I could be what he needed to be okay but maybe I was wrong. If he needs someone else, then that's fine. I just want to see him smile. I just want to see him relax. God, help me! Help him! Help us! Do something!" I couldn't help but start to tear up myself as I heard her plea for help. The poor girl was breaking and the boy had no idea what she was thinking and going through because he was tearing apart at the seams.
Danielle was terrified. I could feel the fear seeping through the wall in her tears and in her screams. She was terrified she was not good enough for Jimmy. She was terrified that Jimmy was going to do something to hurt himself either mentally or physically. She was terrified he wouldn't stop to realize that he didn't have to worry so much. She was terrified of losing him to someone else.
So, as you can see, this was not a love story. There was so eyes meeting across the room and love at first sight, no magically, passionate kiss in the rain, no large engagement ring sparkling in the moonlight. There wasn't even a happy ever after.
There is room for one. I guess you will have to decide for yourself if you see them living happily ever after.