I always feel like I have to be someone completely different to gain your approval. I looked up to you when I was younger. I wanted to be just like you. I felt so lucky to have a big brother especially since my birth father and adoptive father both bailed on me. You protected me but the older I got the less love you showed me. You became hard, cold and distance. I suddenly felt like a stranger to you. Now, I always feel dread whenever we get together at a family gathering. People tell me I shouldn't care what you think or say to me. They tell me to just ignore you and forget it. You always criticize everything about me. You made me feel so insecure about everything. Nothing was good enough.
Our world was never perfect. Wars, finical crisis, pollution, damn potholes. It was far from perfect but most people founds ways to work around the worlds quirks. However, now? Now we all live in Hell.
It was July 10th, 2018. I woke up early that morning to the sound of sirens wailing and people screaming and shouting like I had been for a while now. I sat straight up on the twin sized cot I had been restlessly sleeping on for the past few nights. I looked around the tiny, worn down shack. Aaron was no where in sight and I didn't dare call out his name and take the risk of someone finding our hiding spot. I threw the blanket to the side and swung my legs over the bed and set my bare feet onto the cold concrete floor. It actually felt nice to feel the cold on part of my body. This July has been unbearably hot. I was already dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a dark green tank top. My chin length black hair fell right into place as it always did. I grabbed a can of peaches from my back pack in the corner of the one room shack. After I scarfed down the entire can I paced for a half an hour just waiting for Aaron to come back for me. However, I couldn't wait any longer. I took a hand gun out of Aaron's duffel bag, made sure it was loaded and made sure I had extra weapons and ammo in the duffel bag and back pack. I grabbed both bags and slowly, with my gun drawn, walked out of the shack set way back in the woods. I was on my own for now.