"You are worthless!" Hissed the devil in my ear. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I clutched the sheets underneath of me to try to grasp at some kind of reality. I stared into the darkness around me. Was this sleep paralysis that I have heard so much about? I'm awake but can't move and I'm also terrified. I keep hearing this snake whispering in my ear and I am forced to listen.
"You are nothing, little girl!" I swore I heard a laugh bounce off the walls in my bedroom. "You are nothing and never will amount to anything." I closed my eyes and tears started to break the dam.
"You are alone. No one actually loves you. HA! You thought your 'friends' actually care about you? That they actually like being around you? Oh please, little girl. You're so dumb. No one invites you to their parties, remember? Do people ever call you or text you or even drop by just to see how you're doing? Of course not! You're so damn annoying. You're a burden. You're pathetic! When will you finally believe me?" I could hear heavy footfalls pacing around my bed. The devils words were not just hitting my ears but they were soaking deep into my heart like a sponge soaks up water. My heart started feeling heavier and heavier and my eyes were burning through the large tears pouring out from my tear ducts.
"Are you still listening, missy?" I gasped and my chest heaved when I felt his breath right on my ear as he hissed those words at my harshly. "Aw, you poor thing?" I suddenly felt a tremendous weight sitting on my chest making it difficult to catch my breath. "Did I scare you, little girl?" I tried to roll onto my side to shake him off of me but I couldn't move. All I could manage to do was tremble and sob quietly. "You're ugly, useless, dumb, sad, and weird. Who would ever love a tiny little person like you?" Another mocking laugh followed. "I hate even being here talking to you right now. If I can't even stand you, who else could."
No no no! I wanted to shout that he was lying but I couldn't even talk. Plus, I was starting to believe him. I have always thought these things but I just ignore it for the most part. Could it all be true?
"Don't believe me?" The devil hoped off my chest and onto the floor and I took a deep breath finally. Suddenly, I felt something surrounding my head. I couldn't see anything but shadows in the darkness. However, I diffidently felt like there was someone standing by head and like there was long fingers stroking my hair. Typically, I would think that would be a comforting gesture but at the moment I was only terrified. "When was the last time you can remember that someone genuinely wanted to hang out with you and get nothing in return except 'your company?'" I started to think about it but the devil almost shouted at me causing me to stop. "OH! I have a fun game. Lets count all the people who have left you. Family members, lovers, friends, all of them!" I started to sob even more because I knew at this point in time I lost count.
The devil laughed at my tears. "Pathetic." He scoffed and paced quietly around in my room as I cried and was still unable to move. I was helpless and hopeless. I wanted to cry out but who would even come to my aid? The devil was right. I am alone. I will be alone forever.
"No you won't." I heard a very soft whisper in my ear but this time it was not the devil. It was a comforter. His words word peaceful and sounded like a song. "You will never be alone. You are precious in my eyes and you are loved, Believe it for yourself your light will shine from within you and get you out of this darkness that you are in right now." I started to breathe easier and my heart stopped racing. "My daughter, do not believe these lies the devil is telling you. You are stronger than him. Fight!" With that last word the presence was gone but the words were still with me.
"Pathetic little girl." I could hear the devil still mumbling and pacing back and forth around my bed. "What a ugly little girl."
"No!" I shouted aloud.
"The pacing stopped. "What did you say to me?"
I had no idea where the devil was standing but I just stared into the darkness ahead of me and started shouting, "I said no. I am not pathetic. I am not a little girl. I am stronger than you and I will not listen to you anymore. I am loved by plenty and will never be alone. You are not allowed to lie to me again."
sat straight up in bed and took my shot aimlessly in the dark. "Leave me alone!" He was gone instantly.